a night alone with music
3:19 am.
im a person who believes in the power of music.
wow that was cliche. but this whole post will probably turn into a bit of a cliche so i suppose its appropriate to set the tone. a little cheese is good. cliches are cliche for a reason. (hint: its because they tend to be true.)
i support the idea that lyrics can be the best way to channel your emotions. when you need a cry, or something to lift your spirit, theres a song for that. there's an album out there that can say the things you can't put into words. sometimes music can put you in an emotional state that you would be unable to achieve any other way. how fucking awesome is that?
take me, for example. its the middle of the night, and i had a true, real night alone for the first time in a long time. no parents, no siblings, no friends. just me. it was nice. it was calming. it was refreshing. until all of a sudden it wasn't. i was stuck in my room, alone with my thoughts. i was bursting at the seams with...feelings. there was so much energy, so much nameless emotion, rushing through me that i felt like i was shaking. there was too much going on within my head, and i felt trapped. in that room. with those feelings. alone.
so i put on headphones. and those feelings didn't go away. not right away. but they did become clearer. it wasn't just unidentified energy. it was frustration and loneliness and insecurity. it was nostalgia and a little bit of heartbreak. it was all the feelings that have been coursing through my veins for weeks now, but they were clear. i was alone with music. truly alone.
music heals. it hurts. it can speak love, or hate, or fear. it is its own language, one that we all speak. it allows us to see into the heads of strangers, and gives us a voice to communicate emotions. it can bring attention to your emotions, or serve as a distraction from them.
it's the reason im able to write this right now. in a dark room, curled up in bed with a laptop and my phone playing one song on repeat. its been on repeat for about half an hour now. because it says the things im afraid to. because it allows me to feel these things from a safer distance. because it gives the thoughts running through the back of my mind validity. im not alone.
whatever the problem is, music is my solution.
take me, for example. its the middle of the night, and i had a true, real night alone for the first time in a long time. no parents, no siblings, no friends. just me. it was nice. it was calming. it was refreshing. until all of a sudden it wasn't. i was stuck in my room, alone with my thoughts. i was bursting at the seams with...feelings. there was so much energy, so much nameless emotion, rushing through me that i felt like i was shaking. there was too much going on within my head, and i felt trapped. in that room. with those feelings. alone.
so i put on headphones. and those feelings didn't go away. not right away. but they did become clearer. it wasn't just unidentified energy. it was frustration and loneliness and insecurity. it was nostalgia and a little bit of heartbreak. it was all the feelings that have been coursing through my veins for weeks now, but they were clear. i was alone with music. truly alone.
music heals. it hurts. it can speak love, or hate, or fear. it is its own language, one that we all speak. it allows us to see into the heads of strangers, and gives us a voice to communicate emotions. it can bring attention to your emotions, or serve as a distraction from them.
it's the reason im able to write this right now. in a dark room, curled up in bed with a laptop and my phone playing one song on repeat. its been on repeat for about half an hour now. because it says the things im afraid to. because it allows me to feel these things from a safer distance. because it gives the thoughts running through the back of my mind validity. im not alone.
whatever the problem is, music is my solution.
Photo by Corey Blaz used here under Creative Commons Zero license
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